I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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