I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
