I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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