so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
