soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
