i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
