I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
