Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
