Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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