Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
