Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
