What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
