So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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