Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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