Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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