Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the day after is always just damage control
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
