Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
