I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
you never un-have a 4some
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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