A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
