This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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