he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
home. puking in laundry basket.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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