it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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