Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
