Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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