I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
