I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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