lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
