pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
