I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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