Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm really busy with my period
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