Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
