guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Houston, we have a squirter
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
