Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
