Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
