I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
