Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
