What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
