operation have a gay friend backfired
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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