watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
