It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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