if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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