Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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