it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
