Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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