in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
