Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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