I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
