Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
