There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Randomize
