I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
